Post-Coffee Wisdom

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Lock your doors only when you can remember

Ingest coffee more than any other liquid

Walk fast even if you’re going nowhere

Talk fast even if you’re saying nothing

Act fast even when it isn’t necessary

Because failure to act

is an act of failure itself.

Never look too pretty

Never be too kind

Make genuine eye contact

It is more valuable, memorable, and sanitary

than a handshake

Disregard formalities

Don’t say, “it’s a pleasure to meet you”

if the encounter was dreadful

Don’t respond, “The pleasure is mine”

because that’s selfish

Share pleasure

as frequently as possible

With Strangers, lovers, even enemies

An inexpensive smile,

a warm touch,

a sign of respect.

Avoid the man who crumples his napkins violently,

He’s reckless

Stay clear of the man who runs water too frequently,

He’s careless

And at all cost, whenever you can, disregard the hopeless romantic

Or the hopeless anything for that matter

Do not befriend the wealthy

They are the most selfish

Do not befriend the intellect

They are a bunch of know-it-all’s

Befriend the humorist

Because even on our worst days,

we can still use a laugh

from the pit of our stomachs

like a rolling bellow of thunder

that money cannot purchase

and science could never explain.

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5 thoughts on “Post-Coffee Wisdom

  1. post-beer wisdom

    fffffffffffffttttttttttgggggjkkkkkkkkdheeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
    wheres my fecking car keys?
    uuuhhhhhh
    yes ok

    thanks

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